Friday, May 17, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Gunfighters, Gearheads and Lesbians - Oh My!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll
I am a big music fan and also a fan of Erotica Lit. So I wrote this many years ago and it still surprises me how many times this piece is requested. It is a mockery of a Penthouse Forum letter but its funny!
I have always been a fan of your magazine and love to read the letters but never have I had an experience to actually write one.
Now I have…I am a musician and have been working real hard with the band to
finish the next album. We experienced a setback when our guitar
player Mike got violently ill over a bad Hot Tuna sandwich and Peter
and Davy took him to the hospital. This left me alone in the studio.
It was late in the evening so I decided to pack it up and go home
until I heard a knock outside of the recording booth. I opened the
door and to my surprise was the producer's daughter Alice. She was
quite the Violent Femme. Wearing a short Belly shirt and tight black
leather pants, she looked hot. Her LA Guns were astounding.
She had asked where the band was and I told her they left and we were
all alone. I could feel my Cranberries tighten and my Tool rise. I
asked her if she needed a slow ride home and she said sure but not
until I show her how to do a drum roll.
We headed over to the kit and she sat down on the stool while
grabbing a couple of drum sticks from the bag. I got behind her and
showed her the move by guiding her arms and hands on the snare. Her
hair smelled like Guns and Roses. It was beautiful. After she was
through, she turned around and saw something resembling a microphone
stand in my pants. Rouge lips became wet with Saliva as she rose and
gave me a Kiss. She took off her shirt and exposed the most Smashing
Pumpkins I had ever seen. A Quiet Riot began in my pants and my mind
filled with Social Distortion.
I held her Queens of the Stoneage in my hands and I felt Nirvana. I
had to get her pants off and put my SlipKnot into her Hole before I
was going to explode. Her pants eventually came off and revealed A
Perfect Circle. We got down on the carpet and quickly I entered her
Foo Fighter.
Her Iron Maiden was wet with STP and my Korn on the cob felt like an
Iggy Pop. I was moving a little slow for her taste so she
yelled, "Faster Pussycat". It didn't take long before my Slayer
erupted but not before I pulled out. My Twisted Sister exploded Pearl
Jam all over her Candlebox. I was spent from the excitement and
quickly my Black Sabbath became a Led Zeppelin with my Rolling Stones
aching. She rolled over and I gave her a little Godsmack on the
behind. We both got up and put our clothes on.
Before we left the studio, she smiled and gave me a kiss "You should
come over to my place sometime. I have a dungeon we can play in." She
said with a wink.
I said, "Definitely! There would be nothing better than to see my
Alice in Chains….It's a date…!"
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
100 Years: Woolworth Tower
The New York Giants sign Jim Thorpe, the Hudson is debuted as the first “sedan” at the 13th Auto Show in NYC, Ebbets field opens its doors. But wait, there’s more. The 1st minimum wage law in the US takes effect, also the Federal Income Tax takes effect ( 16th Amendment ) but to make up for that bad news, Cracker Jack inserts its first prize into their now famous caramel coated popcorn box. But not to be outshined by all of these outstanding historical events, New York City’s tallest skyscraper, the Woolworth Building, opens its doors for the first time. The year was 1913, and this year, 2013, marks the once giant of the sky its 100th anniversary.
Woolworth Tower 1913 |
After the American Civil War, America saw its land rapidly being industrialized. Land was by any stretch, becoming a valuable commodity. By the late 19th century, the United States started to experience significant economic growth. Up until then, the status quo for architecture was to expand outwards and with wood or brick. With an abundance of technology advancements such as the elevator, electric lighting and improved methods of building with steel, one profitable option was to expand upwards. In 1885, the first skyscraper The Home Insurance Building was erected in Chicago. With 10 stories,it stood at a whopping 138 feet tall.In little over 2 decades, the buildings were being built taller and taller and by 1909, the tallest building in the world was NYC’s Met Life Tower standing proud at 50 stories and 700 ft tall.
Between 1881 and 1908, a chain of stores named Woolworth’s were popping up everywhere in the US and in 1909, discount shopping pioneer F.W. Woolworth opened his first store overseas in the UK. The original store opened in Lancaster PA was for all intended purposes titled “headquarters” and Woolworth simply outgrew it. In 1910, F.W purchased a parcel of land in New York City on the famous Broadway St.. The land was purchased from the Trenor Luther Park Estate for 2 million dollars. Roughly, that would be 50 million dollars in 2013. Woolworth hired Cass Gilbert, a renowned architect of his day and is famous for his “Gothic” style of design. Behind closed doors, Woolworth told Gilbert “ I want you to design me the tallest building in the world!” In little over two and a half years and 13.5 million dollars later, the 792 ft, 57 story statuesque Woolworth Tower was completed. With 92 ft over its rival, the Met Life Tower, Woolworth now owned the tallest skyscraper in the world.
As you walked through the front doors, you were greeted with an awe-inspiring vaulted gold leafed ceiling and towering marble columns. The gothic-style spires that outine the building's facade took upon a devilish look but heavenly in its design. This building, this tallet skyscraper in the world by all intensive purposes was a work of art - and you were proud to work in this building. On the 54th floor there was an observation deck for visitors to overlook the city. The Woolworth Tower remained the tallest building in the world until 1930 when the Chysler Building, also in New York City, surpassed the Tower by 254 ft.
Over the Towers lifespan of 100 years, it has seen its share of tenants. Of course F.W. Woolworth occupied the first 20 floors as the companie's Headquarters. Another tenant was Columbia Records. They setup shop in 1913 and by 1917, a full blown recording studio was built and the first recording of The Original Dixieland Jazz Band was completed. In 1966, the Tower became a National Historic Landmark and in 1983, 4tha New York City Landmark. By the year 1998, the building was sold to the Witkoff Group for 155 million and Foot Locker who is the sucessor to the Woolworth Company made its presence within the building. Recently there have been plans on renovating the top 30 floors andf converting the floors to luxury appartments with the last 5 floors as a 5 level penthouse suite.
If you are ever in New York City for business or pleasure, you should certainly make a trip to see this famous landmark and revel in the history and admire the traditions this building has had to offer for 100 years.